Star-Eater Chronicles 1: A Galaxy Too Far... by Dennis E. Smirl & Ian Hall

Author:Dennis E. Smirl & Ian Hall
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781522915089
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Published: 2015-12-23T17:00:00+00:00

Ever take a walk down an alien street? Nope me neither, but it didn’t turn out to be interesting after the first few ‘ahh’s’. There was an initial ‘interesting’, then more and more of the same. Strange shit, funny shaped doors, weird writing on walls, dumb-ass furniture. The more I looked, the more pissed off I became. I don’t know if I wanted conflict or contact or neither.

“Ship?”

<Observing>

Of course, she’d be looking through the cameras on my suit, getting it in 3D surroundscreen. Wonderful. “What exactly am I looking for?”

<I am currently working on the images, but have seen nothing so far of strategic—or even tactical--interest>

I actually shrugged against the exoskeleton. At least I didn’t feel so bad now. “It’s like someone evacuated the town and told everyone to take everything of any interest.” I walked some more, then a penny dropped. “Ship? Scan for any animal life.”

<Humanoid>

“No, anything remotely animal.”

I looked at the sun, lowering in the sky to my left. On Earth there would be birds, or perhaps bats at this time of day. There would be insects buzzing around, annoying the heck out of me. There would be stray cats and rabid dogs prowling the town looking for food. Or bigger predators.

<From our current position I can detect no sign of life on the planet. Analyzing soil samples>

I looked into the next tower, slightly taller than the last. Square cross-section, plastic-feeling building materials.

<No microbiology. No plants> Ship broke into my boredom. Heck I hadn’t even noticed there being no plant life. <Seth, this is strange. There is no fecal matter on the planet>

“Okay,” I shrugged again. “Would it not have broken up in time?”

<Seth, I don’t wish to alarm you, but even with the sanitation we have on board, most of the surfaces aboard ship contain trace elements of your defecation process>

That sure put me off my dinner.

<There is no organic matter on this planet>

“No shit.” I just had to say it. I would have regretted it by nighttime. “So your working hypothesis is what?”

<No one has lived here>

“For a long time.” I added.

<No> Ship’s voice was pedantic. <No one has ever lived here>

“So the buildings just built themselves?”

<Scan the doors> she ordered. I had no reason to disobey, so I did it. <All the same size; one point six-two meters wide, three point five three meters tall>

“So?”

<Go inside the nearest building and find a toilet>

“How would I know what an alien toilet looks like?”

<Anything that looks like a toilet, kitchen, food preparation, water taps, bath, showers; anything an animal alien would need. Beds, chairs to sit on>

And of course, Ship had hit the proverbial nail on the head. I found nothing remotely answering these things. Nothing. And that was the reason it had been boring. Those functionary things would have made it interesting, drawing comparisons between the alien’s daily life and mine.

I got back to the Ship at a comfortable jog. “Conclusions?” I slipped out of the suit, and plodded through the increased gravity to my Command chair.

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